[ The prelude to this article is found in the GZ3 Trial Journal — ed ]

February 6, 2007

Trial of the “GZ3” — Conviction, Calling, and Conscience

by Brian E. Watson

I have allowed a week to pass after the guilty verdict was delivered before composing this post to you all, my friends and family. I was exhausted after the trial and disappointed with the verdict, of course. I also wanted to get some perspective on what had happened in the trial and what I thought its meaning might be.

Being declared “guilty” was a first for me, and the other defendants, CarolAnn Barrows and Shirley Morrison, as well. I don't even remember how many times I've risked arrest and/or been arrested in nonviolent direct actions. Probably 12 or more? I'd been charged and put on trial before, in 1999, but had been acquitted. That experience gave me a great deal of insight into the trial process and how to go about defending ourselves in court again in this trial.

But what I couldn't have prepared for was the feeling of disbelief, bewilderment, and, yes, even shame that I felt when Judge Riehl read the verdicts. For awhile, I just couldn't believe it. How could the jury have possibly reached this verdict? Then, acceptance of it started to come over me, which then gave me the space needed to reflect on some of the things that we could have done better, as well as what the prosecuting attorney, Kevin Hull, did quite well.

I don't think I felt as bad, though, as our defense attorney, Michael Stowell, did. I know how much he gave of himself in the trial and I know he felt a great sense of responsibility for the guilty verdict. I remember Michael looking at me with the same shock I had in my own eyes and saying “I'm sorry.” To say that the verdict was not Michael's fault is an understatement. Who knows why this jury decided to convict us? As I've said to friends who've asked, “I think the jury missed the boat.” We'll attempt to contact the members of the jury to try to find out what they were thinking during their deliberations, so we can learn from this experience and be better prepared next time this happens, which it will.

The next phase of the trial is sentencing, which will happen on Thursday Feb. 22 at 9am in District Court Room 201, 614 Division Street, Port Orchard. Since we were each convicted on two counts of Disorderly Conduct, we are each facing the possibility of up to 180 days in jail and $2,000 in fines. That is a sobering thought, and in the immediate aftermath of the trial, it was something that I feared.

After over a week of reflection, though, I am looking at the sentence we will be given as I've looked at the trial as a whole: as a gift. This is not to say that I am “accepting” my punishment. On the contrary, what it means is that I am making a deliberate choice about how I think of what is to come. If I think about my possible sentence as a loss, then that is what it will be. If I choose, however, to think about my possible sentence as a gift, it liberates me, and liberates us all, to continue the work of resisting Trident and abolishing nuclear weapons. When the threat of jail or fines loses its sting, what is standing in our way? When the punishment is greeted with the joy of a gift, we are set free to close the Bangor base with our very selves. Suddenly, the thing which was meant to punish and deter is transformed into a call, an invitation, to live fully and freely and responsibly.

This is the beauty of nonviolence: it doesn't create winners and losers. It transforms all whom it touches. The very idea of “winning” and “losing” simply disappear.

In my testimony on the stand, I said that the “punishment” for our complicity in the maintenance and deployment of nuclear weapons is something we were already experiencing. To quote theologian William Sloane Coffin: “We are punished not so much for as by our sins.” We go about our normal, ordinary lives oblivious to the suffering we are living under in this world bristling with nuclear weapons. But the suffering is there and it is a punishment that exacts a toll on all people, everywhere. Some people suffer the effects of the radioactive by-products of nuclear weapons. Other people suffer from living in holes -- called missile silos -- and in metal cans under the ocean --called Trident submarines -- waiting to be told when to push the button that will put an end to all life. We all suffer because of the vast waste of resources -- money, labor, and talent -- that is poured into the nuclear weapons enterprise. We all suffer the most, though, because we all live with some awareness that nuclear weapons threaten the very possibility of tomorrow. Imagine what that has done to our collective spirit?

If I have to go to jail to show how we are all prisoners in this nuclear world, I will do it with gladness. If I am not sent to jail, I will work to educate and motivate people to take some kind of action to abolish nuclear weapons. Regardless of the sentence, the work will go on and the number of people demanding nuclear abolition will increase.

As I close this post to you all, I want to again express my gratitude to all of you for keeping me in your prayers, thinking about me, and breathing together in hope with me. Many of you have helped by sending in money to the Ground Zero Legal Defense Fund. Others have simply been awakened. Many of you are considering what actions you will take now that you know about Trident and our nuclear-armed world.

I want to say, and say it clearly, that whatever you choose to do, even though what you do may seem small and unimportant, it is very important that you do it. I think you'll find what I've found in my activism: that taking one step leads to another and another. Risking arrest and going to trial is only one way to take action. For those of you considering this, I encourage you to do the necessary discernment so you are prepared for it. I've found it to be one of the most fulfilling experiences of my life when I know that I've placed my body, my whole self, at exactly the place it needs to be. But for those of you who feel called to do something else, don't worry. There's plenty to do. Here are some suggestions:

• Learn more. Educate yourself about nuclear weapons and US nuclear policy. There are lots of organizations and publications that you can use to inform yourself about what's going on and what to do about it. My favorites?
  
      The Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists
          http://www.thebulletin.org
      The Natural Resources Defense Counsel
          http://www.nrdc.org/nuclear/default.asp
      and, of course, the Ground Zero Newsletter
          http://www.gzcenter.org
      Another good one is The Nuclear Age Peace Foundation
          http://www.wagingpeace.org/menu/issues/nuclear-weapons/index.htm

• Get involved. Join a group that is working to abolish nuclear weapons. Ground Zero is just one of thousands worldwide. There is likely one near where you live. Most of these groups are small and would love to have you show up. You can also join national groups working for nuclear abolition, such as
  
      Friends Committee on National Legislation
          http://www.fcnl.org/index.htm
      or Physicians for Social Responsibility
          http://www.psr.org/site/PageServer?pagename=Home

• Give money to groups doing the work of nuclear abolition. They all need your financial support.

• Write letters. Send emails. Make phone calls. One of the reasons why the need to abolish nuclear weapons is not on the agenda of policy makers is that they don't know it's important to their constituents. You can make a difference by telling them of your sincere concern for the future and that you want them to support legislation that works to abolish nuclear weapons worldwide, in accordance with our commitments under the Nuclear Nonproliferation Treaty. Also, write letters to the editor on the same topic.

• Read. Find some good books about nuclear weapons, nuclear war, and US foreign policy, and nonviolence. Too much to list here. Go to your local library and see what you find. When we live in a nuclear world, hanging by a thread, ignorance is not bliss. Becoming informed, and taking action on that information, is the key to our survival.

• Bumpersticker your car. I have designed a new sunflower bumpersticker that says “Abolish Nuclear Weapons” that is available for purchase here.  Buy them in bulk and give them to your friends. Never underestimate the power of sticky vinyl!

Whatever you do, do it with love. Know that every small action we each take helps build the political will necessary to achieve a world in which nuclear weapons are history. Keep in mind that beautiful day when the last nuclear weapon on planet Earth is taken apart and destroyed, forever. This is not a sprint, it is a marathon. Stay committed. Move yourself one step outside of your comfort zone, whatever that is. Do what you can, yes, but also do what you can't. If your conscience is telling you something, even if it's something you don't want to hear, listen anyway. See where your conscience leads you.

I sign off to you until the sentencing hearing on Feb. 22 with these words by William Sloane Coffin, from his book Credo, page 102-3:

“We must say Yes to what we can, and No to what we must. We must see that when a government betrays the ideals of a country, it is an act of loyalty to oppose the government. We must take the road less traveled and be more concerned with our country saving its soul than with it losing face.”